Romanticism lies in our heart and almost all of us fall in romantic love. But, the question is ‘what is real love’ or the actual love that we mean to? The definition of real love may vary but we can stand a common, widely notified and accepted characteristic of ‘real love’.
“Real love is caring about another person without wanting anything in return.”
What is meant to real love?
I think this question is not so easy to answer, but it is not because of the definition of what a real love is completely different from our society to society and culture to culture.
So, when we talk about genuine love, we ask people to ask themselves a test question. There is a test question. If you really love someone genuinely ask this question to yourself. If you really want to know the people you really love than think:
… Where to the people I love leave me or no longer be he or she with me or leave me than would my feelings change at all?
If you are able to answer YES or if you are able to switch inside you just because she or he rejects you or doesn’t want to live with you and if you are in off mood, then you don’t love them at all. THAT’S NOT LOVE.
Love is that something pours out of you, that’s something you give away for free. There is no string or attached to love.
Once a famous teacher was asked about the real love. He said something that can show you a way to identify about the real love. He said:
If you really love someone you say:
I love you and I want you to be happy.
If that includes me, that’s wonderful
But if your happiness does not include me, that’s wonderful too.
Now, what he meant by this?
He is essentially pointing to something that is at the core of love and that’s freedom. Love and freedom are interconnected. Your love is meant to make your beloved person to be happy: either attached or detached.
On the other hand, your love may not be real if you say something like the following to your beloved.
I love you, I want you to be happy
But, I want it to be for me
I love you and I want you to make me happy
I love you, but you need to make me complete.
This type of love is called ‘Fake love or ego love’ and this love never stands for happiness and freedom. In this fake love, there are so many strings and conditions to the love? This type of love cannot be the LOVE at all!
Real love is something genuine. That you give away for free. Real love is what you feel in your heart for someone does not change just for their behaviors because you are in LOVE with someone.
So, real love is saying: it is wonderful when I am included in your happiness, but it is wonderful too if I am not.